"Peace"

What is it about life that leads us into stages of uncertainty? Just as we think we are on the road to stability, a sinkhole of giant proportion opens up and pulls us down. Falling into a darkness, we do not know which way is up. Where is the light to lead us out of oblivion. Is it shining towards or away from us. Why can't we find the end of the tunnel?

Each day is a path to somewhere. We must choose the journey that we wish to take. So many times others choose our daily trip. We let others affect our space. They are intruders breaking into our inner peace. They step into our minds and bring us emotional turmoil. Peace scavengers are at work building stage one of uncertainty. These scavengers live in our homes and work on our jobs. Perhaps, it is your spouse, significant other, boss or child. Whomever it is, do not let him or her drive you off the road of your life.

Do not drive yourself mad either. Sometimes the uncertainty comes from within. We are not happy with the choices we have made. The career choice is wrong. The money is not enough. The responsibilities are too much or not enough. You're 40 years old, and you feel as lost asa a little child. The question keeps coming up, "What am I going to do with myself?" However, we are really scared to make any changes. It is another stage of uncertainty.

All the questions seem to be unanswerable, because we are afraid to speak about them. We do not want our people to think we are balls of confusion. Our image keeps us quiet when we are dying inside. The tears flow when no one is looking. Pent up feelings become overwhelming. The sinkhole keeps getting deeper. We are kicking and screaming in silence. No one can hear us , not our enemies nor our loved ones.

What can we do to get out of the darkness? Who can push us back on a road leading to the place we want to go? How long will it take? You are the answer to your own well being.

Many times we want people to change but it is only possible to change ourselves. Those who are intruders into our inner space will disappear when you lock the personal door to our mind. There is an entrance that is open to them, so they can walk right in and get on our nerves. Lock up that opening and throw away the key. Sometimes it means toning them out, staying away from him/her or killing them with kindness. It is possible the intruder is also on an uncertain road and wants to make us as miserable as he or she is at the time.. Misery loves a house full of company. Leave misery alone. Peace scavengers pick at the meat on the bone. Do not leave them anything to eat. If you keep moving, they cannot land on you. As one stage of uncertainty clears, starting working on others.

By Cassandra Washington

This essay was originally written in February 2001. I recently found it while cleaning out a file cabinet. After reading it I thought that it was good advice for my soul then and it still is seven years later. We never plan for uncertainty, but it manages to find us even as we grow older and wiser. With each uncertain moment it is hopeful that we all learn something important and life changing.